To The Greatest Pretender

You pretend
You lie
You hide
You cry
Acting a game
The star of your show
I see through it baby,
Just let it go.
It won’t change you,
I know who you are
You are funny and smart.
Not a B movie star.
You say you hate me,
Wish I would die.
I gave you life,
You walked out of mine.
It’s not all my fault,
I wish I knew
How long I must pay-
I didn’t do this to you.

Guess what?

I’m not perfect
Never said that I am
My mistakes are my own
But you don’t give a damn.
You are greedy,
Always thinking you need to be phat,
And so selfish
Boy, I taught you better than that.
Don’t follow in his footsteps
I can’t live that again.
Not for you son,
Please don’t play pretend.
You can’t turn a blind eye
With the world at your feet,
Make the right choice.
Don’t give in to defeat.
Shed the wolf skin,
Let your light shine,
Please son,
You’ll always be mine.
There’s a hole in my heart,
Only you can restore.
I love you my Pookie,
Please be you, once more.

I wrote this today for my oldest son. I haven't dealt with the loss he has left in my life. I guess today was the beginning. I wish it wasn't this way. I wish he would read this and the light bulb would go off above his head. I hope one day common sense makes its way into his life. I need to have faith. I need to pray.