A Friend and Forgiveness

I am so thankful to have a wonderful friend who isn't afraid to talk about life, share struggles, express joy, and set a wonderful example. She also doesn't judge or reject me for my problems and imperfections. We are all here to help each other. We ALL have things happen in life-good and bad, sad and happy. It is hard to not make excuses for poor choices, past life, and thoughtlessness~but we are all human. We all make mistakes and we all hurt. We also feel joy and happiness. We can be forgiven and we can forgive. We can let others take the blame for their mistakes instead of burdening ourselves with guilt. We need to forgive ourselves and move forward. Forgiveness is a beautiful gift. It blesses my life. I learn more about it every day and how to use it in my life. Thank you my dear, sweet friend for reminding me of who I am, where I came from and where I am going.

Wishes aren't always what they seem

"Be careful what you wish for."
I can't count how many times I've heard that over my longish life. Not necessarily said to me directly, but something you just hear every so often. I understand that saying and it's implied 'threat' is very real. Whether it's a wish, hope, or prayer~we don't always know what's best for us.

I have a lot to learn about myself. I think I know what's best for me but I am usually wrong. That's a pretty self-defeating thing to have happen. I am realizing that I have a long way to go and to some extent know what to do to get there. I just need to be sure to listen to the right influences.

Now I know I need to stop expecting things.
I will never get what I want on this round ball.

One thing I've wanted more than anything since I was very small, will not be realized in this life. It is a crushing blow, but if I'm honest, I think I've known that my whole life. I don't know why my life has been the way it has but I have faith there is a purpose. I'm starting to see it and maybe even a light at the end of a long, very dark tunnel. I just wish I didn't have to physically walk the path alone. I know I'm not alone spiritually~I never have been, even if I've thought it.

I did get one wish that I'd wanted since I was tiny. Again, it was not what I expected. It healed me inside and I have to hang on to that very important fact and the wonderful Spiritual experience it provided me. Unfortunately it has caused rifts in long-standing relationships and those barely begun. This has been most confusing and sad. Times like this I want to...
Run away and hide.
Drop off the radar.
Be as if I never was.
Is it funny or sad that they wouldn't really notice? Par for the course in my book.

I now only have one more wish. This is a safe wish. I know it's up to me to achieve it. I know I will have help, even if I can't see it. Why do I feel so different? Why do I see things in ways no one else does? Life makes things so much more complicated. It would be so easy if I was by myself, but I'm not. Making it all work has always been a challenge and I know it may get worse. Do what needs to be done regardless of anyone or anything!

Wish me luck! :)