Wishes aren't always what they seem

"Be careful what you wish for."
I can't count how many times I've heard that over my longish life. Not necessarily said to me directly, but something you just hear every so often. I understand that saying and it's implied 'threat' is very real. Whether it's a wish, hope, or prayer~we don't always know what's best for us.

I have a lot to learn about myself. I think I know what's best for me but I am usually wrong. That's a pretty self-defeating thing to have happen. I am realizing that I have a long way to go and to some extent know what to do to get there. I just need to be sure to listen to the right influences.

Now I know I need to stop expecting things.
I will never get what I want on this round ball.

One thing I've wanted more than anything since I was very small, will not be realized in this life. It is a crushing blow, but if I'm honest, I think I've known that my whole life. I don't know why my life has been the way it has but I have faith there is a purpose. I'm starting to see it and maybe even a light at the end of a long, very dark tunnel. I just wish I didn't have to physically walk the path alone. I know I'm not alone spiritually~I never have been, even if I've thought it.

I did get one wish that I'd wanted since I was tiny. Again, it was not what I expected. It healed me inside and I have to hang on to that very important fact and the wonderful Spiritual experience it provided me. Unfortunately it has caused rifts in long-standing relationships and those barely begun. This has been most confusing and sad. Times like this I want to...
Run away and hide.
Drop off the radar.
Be as if I never was.
Is it funny or sad that they wouldn't really notice? Par for the course in my book.

I now only have one more wish. This is a safe wish. I know it's up to me to achieve it. I know I will have help, even if I can't see it. Why do I feel so different? Why do I see things in ways no one else does? Life makes things so much more complicated. It would be so easy if I was by myself, but I'm not. Making it all work has always been a challenge and I know it may get worse. Do what needs to be done regardless of anyone or anything!

Wish me luck! :)