Announcing the arrival of..............

After nine long, heartbreaking months of homelessness, among other things I won't mention in this post, we have a house!!! We are all so excited! It is bittersweet- as one of my children mentioned yesterday, " it just doesn't feel like home." No it doesn't and it never really will. Life without a vital member of the family is NEVER the same. We just hope and pray the child support continues to enable us to live in this wonderful new home for years to come. We feel so blessed and know our Heavenly Father is watching over us. We pray continually for our husband/father and son/brother to return to Him again.

Happy house day everyone~a house is blessing you should never take for granted!!

Where to begin

I am realizing how hard it is to write my "first" post. This blog brings back tender feelings that have started to scab over and I don't know that I want to deal with the possibility of them cracking open. I have come a long way since this time last year, the kids too! I never thought I would ever be where I am now in so many ways. BUT here we are, plodding along~good moments and bad days!
The older girls are enjoying girls camp this week(well at least they should be!), "E" has been working,and "O" is just hangin' out and trying to keep cool as I finish up my classes. Tomorrow is a very busy day as I start my clinicals AND have a final class/test, then one more day of clinicals on Friday, and my final-final on Monday! Oh boy I don't know if I'm ready!! Then on to the real world of working for pay.....whew!

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack!

I've decide to pick back up and try my hand at this blogging thing again. It will be hit and miss until we aquire our own computer but at least it will be a start! :)

Watching You Self Destruct

I cannot decide which hurts worse, you ignoring me, you abandoning your family, or you self destructing.

No,losing your soul to the evil of the world is what hurts the most.

You are bound so tightly you cannot see what you are doing to yourself, nor anyone else around you.
The denial has been growing day after day, year after year.

Now, you are on your own, and you will have to face the devil in the mirror.
Powerful help is but a prayer away.
Physical help, but an easy phone call.

Will you seek for help or give in once and for all to the misery that has laid claim to you all these years?

I pray that you fight.
That has always been my hope.
No one can do it for you, God knows I have tried.

Now it comes down to you and him.
Who will win?
Will you fight?
Will you struggle to break free from the darkness pulling you down?
There are no fence sitters-please jump to the right side!

Look for the light-it IS in you.
Let Him help you.

We are praying for you.
We love you.
He loves you.




Lucifer said them to you when you left,
now say them back as you rebuke him and his evil~
I'll see ya in anotha life brotha

Speechless

There is no word to describe what happened in that moment when I first realized what this meant. The feelings and thoughts will never be forgotten but to describe them in one word,well that would be impossible. I thought that I'd felt every rotten feeling known to mankind but I was oh so wrong. Speechless is what this has left me. Utterly lacking for words. I expect any day for a tornado or hurricane or volcanic eruption,something,anything, to sweep away my family and home. It really can't get much worse.

Don't tell me this doesn't matter. Don't tell me justice will be served one day in the future when God is the judge. It doesn't take away the hell I am in. Humankind has let me down in a way I didn't know existed. This country has left me feeling defeated til I can't even move. There is NO justice in our courts and there are NO lawyers who are in it to do the right thing. Journalism has NO LAWS. School districts and those they employ can do whatever the **** they want regardless of who they hurt in the process, ESPECIALLY innocent children.

THE LAST DAYS?! HELL YES THEY ARE HERE!!!!!! And guess what? I HATE them. I am so unprepared for how evil they are and the range of people that get sucked into the darkness they provide. CHANGE? I wish! HOPE? How can there be? How fitting in these last days to have those two words thrown around. Too bad the change that continues to happen snuffs out any hope for the struggling few trying to make this a better place to be.


Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility, Humility, Charity, oh how we need you!

"THE" plan

I've been giving a lot of thought to "THE" plan lately. You know, the one where we come here to get a body and all that stuff. It hasn't made sense to me for a while now. Like none of it, at all. So,I think it's time to go back to the beginning. That's right-it's Bible time. I need to know and understand that book of God like no other. Even Isaiah!
I don't know if I'm scared not "knowing" as much as just feeling lost and kinda bummed. It just doesn't work for me like it used to. Realizing that you really are on your own solo journey with only God and His Son, as well as the Holy Spirit.....it's just something I've never had to think about, and leaves me feeling lonely.I was taught to believe in family but now I know that it is just a fairy tale. I am an individual and my salvation does not rest on anyone but me and thankfully my Savior, Jesus Christ. I don't know why the last several months have put me here but I believe there is an answer out there somewhere. Now just if I can find it.......................



Oh and by the way-----mean, selfish, fake people SUCK

Christlike much?

One day, OUT OF THE BLUE, this arrived:

You pride yourself in speaking your mind. Telling people what you think…pulling no punches.



I’m going to be honest with you. I do not want to continue this relationship. I do not feel good about it. You truly belong to the ________(family name). I only gave you a body.



I will be glad to answer questions you may have about family history.



Sincerely